Wednesday, October 31, 2007;
♥ 10/31/2007 05:13:00 AM
Over You - Daughtry
Now that it's all said and done,
I can't believe you were the one
To build me up then tear me down,
Like an old abandoned house.
What you said when you left
Just left me cold and out of breath.
I fell too far, was in way too deep.
Guess I let you get the best of me.
Well, I never saw it coming.
I should've started running
A long, long time ago.
And I never thought to doubt you;
I’m better off without you
More than you, more than you know.
I'm slowly getting closure.
I guess it's really over.
I'm finally getting better.
And now I'm picking up the pieces
And spending all of these years
Putting my heart back together.
'Cause the day I thought I'd never get through,
I gotwill get over you.
You took a hammer to these walls,
Dragged the memories down the hall,
Packed your bags and walked away.
There was nothing I could say.
And when you slammed the front door shut,
A lot of others opened up,
So did my eyes, so I could see
That you never were the best for me.
Anyways, im so F-ing pissed off now.Really! I called my F up CT, and the conversation went like this:
Me> I din receive any i&r in the email.
She> Oh sry. I can only send you at 10 tonight. Is it too late?
Me (w/o hesitating)> Yes. Too late.
She pauses> Mm, sorry. I'll send you at ten okay?
Me> HUH... (pause) Okay lor. (hang up)
I tell you, im really very pissed off now. ): <
Usually, my anger lasts not more than afew mins. But of cos, it is subjective!
But right now, its 20 mins past the phonecall, and i can still feel my blood boiling.
And i cursed and swear like nobody's frekaing business. =X
On a lighter, much lighter, note.
Had OP today. (:
I love presentation! Other than those butterfly flying around in the stomachs, thing are pretty alright i think.Okay, it's over! Not good, also cannot do anything alr.
But, it went quite alright. So, yeah. Went laser quest on a VERY full stomach with classmates (Ky Des Bryan Aaron Benj Zw Bp Hy Xl and Hx) in the afternoon. It was madness. And the girls started screaming like crazy. And i mean, crazy.Haha! It fun, and a pretty good way to scream everything out!My hand got really tired from carry that laser gun after the first round. The other girls got their throats sore from all the screaming and shouting. :DThe guy headed in for a second round. The girls just sat outside, watching them play.After that, left for westmall with bp and hy.Reached home at bout 7plus.
Ive been repeating the song (above) for a milion-th times alr. Its getting stuck to my head. Well, I never saw it coming.I should've started runningA long, long time ago.And I never thought to doubt you;I’m better off without youMore than you, more than you know.Yeah, i guess the wait's long enough. Time to start running, and move on from this mess.Give me the strength and determination to do so.And give me his distractions - no more.
IM STILL FEELING PRETTY ANNONYED OVER TT CT OF MINE. ): <
&maybe things will be fine after awhile.
Tuesday, October 30, 2007;
♥ 10/30/2007 03:00:00 AM
Did i lose my love to someone beterAnd does she love you like i doI do, yknow i really really do>>
M2M's The Day You Went Away. (:Nice!
Had A level chinese paper today. And after the paper, everyone's exclaiming OH YAY! Byebye to chinese alr!But somehow, i feel sad. ): NOT THAT IM CHEENA!Absolutely not.Its just tt i do have the interest in chinese, and its the only sub which i can score, or simply, not worry bout failing. You get what i mean?Haha. But then again, its always good to have a subject off the examination list! :DAgree?
Oh boohoo. The songs in my mp3 are so so outoutoutoutoutoutdated. ):But im too lazy to uploads the 'new-er' songs onto my mp3.Cos i need to transfer the songs from this com(A), to the com(B) which is beside this com. Cos com B has have the programme which would allow me to transfer songs onto my mp3, but com A doesnt.=l Sounds complicated. But the point is: Im just lazy to transfer the songs onto the com.Aiyah, i shall just stick to the old songs in my mp3 then. ):
Oh bummer. Plans to go sentosa on thurs are cancelled. ):Then the plans to go sentosa on sat might be cancelled. ):Okay, i hope i still get to go out with my beloved <33> on wed! :DDD
Oh yeah!I msged my dearest eyecandy! :DDOh yeah yeah!Im having this really terrible gastric attack now. ):Cant be! I ate my lunch, okay! =l
Tmr's op. Get over and done with. Get over and done with. Get over and done with. Get over and done with. Get over and done with. Get over and done with...
Y'see, im no longer sure of this emotion tt im feeling right now. =lWait, was i even sure bout it at the beginning?
&maybe things will be fine after awhile.
Sunday, October 28, 2007;
♥ 10/28/2007 07:35:00 AM
I swore i knew the melodyThat ive heard you singingAnd when you smile you make it feelLike i could sing alongBut then you went and change the wordsNow my heart is emptyIm only left with 'used-to-be'sAnd once upon a song>>
My day could be summarised within a sentence.'I went school, then jec for lunch before taking bus home to sleep til night.'
Anyways, ysee the lyrics at the start of my post?Somehow, they speak from the botto of my heart. =lI wish you knew the things in my heart. But then again, if you knew them, you'd probably turn away.OKAY. I SO DUNNO WHAT IM TYPING NOW. ):
Im feeling upset. :'(
the pain inflicted, but never felt;
&maybe things will be fine after awhile.
Saturday, October 27, 2007;
♥ 10/27/2007 06:35:00 AM
That fairytale life
Wasnt for me>>
Hello there. Im feeling irritated. ):
There're so many movies i wanna watch. Really.
'The ferryman'
'Unrest'
'Halloween'
But they're all M18! =l
Mm, but i feel like watching a horror show, giving myself a good fright, and letting me have a good scream. :D
Wanna catch 'The Last Breathe' tgt? (:
Was out with beeping huili and bryan after class today. Went Kobayashi for lunch, which we spent an hour + there. The teipayakki we ordered was good an, i swear. Okay, basically, cos we were really hungry. =p
Went to collect my beloved mp3! Oh yay. Im lovin' it.
Cabbed down to 'i-duno-what-place-is-it' to meet huiyee xuelian aaron desmond benj and kokyao!
We wanted to play Laser Quest. But right, it's closed for the day for maintainence. ): BOOHOO.
So we ended up in the bowling alley, having a game of bowling. =l
We left at around three plus, and we started loitering around the building. =X We sat at the sofa there, deciding where to go next, and we so look like some pathetic homeless creatures. URK. So after a million yrs of thinking, we left for home. ): BOOHOO.
I really wanted to go out leh. Like, just walk around some shopping centres, for the aircon and the company. =l
I was looking forward to having dinner with my dearests, valerie nirma yy grace and joa. But like, the usual few who can make it, can make it this time. The usual few who cant make it, cant make it for this time round again. So the dinner's called off. BOOHOO.
Okay okay. I believe, one day. We will just somehow meet up, for a quick meal. :D
I wish i could stand by you. I wish i could walk up to you. I wish i could just simply, stay by your side.
But no, i cant. I told myself, to keep my distance.
So that's what im going to try to do.
Keep my distance, and just watch you from afar.
But then again, what you really need/want, isnt me. =l
&maybe things will be fine after awhile.
Thursday, October 25, 2007;
♥ 10/25/2007 05:10:00 AM
I woke up, it was sevenI waited til elevenJust to figure out that no one would call>>
Hello to you, the living creature over at the other side of the screen. : ]Anyways, i din pon school okayy.I wasnt feeling well since last night. Okay, but knowing me. Esp in fmss, even if im not feeling well, i'll just go ahead to school. Well, thats basically because i love my school. My class, my friends, my loves, my teachers, the redcross room, and even the lessons! They are made school so fun and interesting and worthwhile, that it'd be my loss if i ever skipped a day of school. Haha. (:Okay, back to now. So i din go school today. Mm, lets see the 'not feeling well' part is just a reason to make it a valid reason. I guess, its more of the fact that nothing in jj makes going school worthwhile. Yeah, maybe just my schoolmates, classmates, and friends.Plus, there isnt exactly in school that makes going sch fun. No dearest eyecandy in jj, no consultant in there, no bestie in school. =l In short, going school just doesnt seems interesting and fun anymore. There's nth to look forward to alr. Okay, i take back those words. There is, smth to look forward to. (: The end-of-school bell.
Anyways, anyways. 5 more days to A lvl! :DNot that im looking forward to the chinese paper, im just looking forward to the date itself. (: Cos most of the j2s will be starting their paper on that day too, right? Then, then. I'll have the chance (or even, excuse) to msg tt dear eyecandy of mine. Dang, i should have went back pj earlier, when the j2s haven had their study break. =l Cos at that time, there are more reasons for me to return to pj campus. Now, there are still reasons of cos, like my dearest s25 classmates and my og mate and the apple lattice at the cafe and the bottled peach tea at the canteen and the noodle stall at the canteen and the etc. But the j2s are gone leh. ):
Alrights, anyways. Day at home was quite fulfilling. :DI woke up at 830am. Started on the show 'the Magicians of Love'. Now im on disc 13 alr! : ]Went for lunch at around 1pm. I saw my beloved P6 form teacher, Ms Ng Siew Cheng! <3> Oh gracious. But she's simply too far away. But it's still so nice and heartwarming to see an old teacher. :D Okay, she isnt old la. Just that, she's my old teacher, not literal meaning. (:Then i slept from 3, all the way til it's close to 7. =l
Okay, damn. There's school tmr. ] :
&maybe things will be fine after awhile.
Wednesday, October 24, 2007;
♥ 10/24/2007 05:32:00 AM
What hurts the mostWas being so closeAnd having so much to sayAnd watchin you walk away>>
Ive got 'the Magicians of Love' vcd from pamela alr! :D
Two more days, to school holidays.Six more days, to chinese A lvls.Seven more days, to OP.And seven more days, to geting back promo results slip. =lGracious.
Anyways, i just wanna say.I feel as in, im stuck at north pole. Im feeling oh-so-bloody cold right now. But my forehead feels as though it's hundred degrees.Pfft. :'(
cos i realised by just solely waitingit isnt enough;
&maybe things will be fine after awhile.
Tuesday, October 23, 2007;
♥ 10/23/2007 06:35:00 AM
Go on, goWalk out the doorTurn around nowYoure not welcome anymore>>
I SWEAR, JJC'S SPORTS CARNIVAL IS SERIOUSLY THE _____ TEVENT IVE EVER ATTENDED, SO FAR IN ALL THE SCHOOLS IVE BEEN SCHOOLING AT.REALLY, REALLY. THUMBS-___ FOR IT.PFFT!
I surprised myself, by being able to wake up on such a comfortable morning.I surprised myself, by waking up and going school today.My dearest fairfield friends surprised me further, by all turning up in school today.Amusement. (:
So, from the moment i reached the canteen til about 10. I was outside JJ affinity, with the fairsians <3> and my classmates.Alright, why cant the school just be more straightforward and declared today a school holiday?The school made all the students to come back, only to sit and stone and rot in school. Well, thats if you din participate in any games. But aiyah, not like they pay alot of attention to those who play the games too. =lSo, why go thru all the trouble? TSK. Just declare today as a holiday la!
So 7 of us left school after what seems like ages, at around 10 plus. We loitered around in jp. We went harvey norman, then courts, then harvey norman, then courts, then harvey courts. Then we got tired, so we (other than ky and des) met bryan and went subway. After which, des ky and benj left. So bryan aaron beeping and i left for beeping's place. (:We caught 3 movies altgt today. :D -Date Movie; This is such a retarded and uber stupid and cheapthrill-ed show. Seriously. Thank goodness i din spent 7bucks on the tickets, cos if i did that. Im pretty sure i'd curse and swear the whole day. (:-Slither; Cos i watched Resident Evil before this, so my comment on this show is EWK. Imitation of RE! Haha, but seriously, it's slighty more disgusting than RE. Pfft.-Click; Oh freak. (: Although i was falling asleep and everything, but hey! Its quite a touching show. Haha, and i teared towards the end of the show. When he wrote the note, and the wife replied 'forever and ever' SWEEEEETTTT. :DOkay, i liked waching shows with friends. Totally. But sometimes, certain shows. i'd rather watch it myself, like touching shows and korean drama series. So i wont be afraid to cry, or need to control my tears. But right, watching shows like HORROR ones, i'll definitely need my jacket/blanket to cover my eyes, and my friends, so that im not alone. After the show, stayed til bp's mum returned. :D
I dunno why are you such a confusion.You're telling me things which makes my heart goes on a rollarcoaster ride. You're doing things which are totally, leading me in the wrong direction. And youre just being you who are actually turning my world upside down. =lYeah, maybe i shouldnt care so much afterall.Cos afterall, im making my way out alr. (:Out of the stupid mess, and out of this trap that's really suffocating me.I guess it finally got into my head, that seriously, being friends are somehow, somewhat, more comfortable.And afterall, we belong to a different world i guess.Like how, two parallel lines can never meet. No matter how long you extend the each of them.Maybe, maybe im saying all these to console myself and make myself better.But hey! If my other girlfriends could survive and get out.
Why cant i?(:
bet on me;
&maybe things will be fine after awhile.
Sunday, October 21, 2007;
♥ 10/21/2007 05:59:00 AM
Are you desperate to find something moreBefore your life is over>>
I just sent my beloved mp3 for repair. ):"It'll take 3-5 working days," she said.:'( Walao, how to survive?
Tmr's my baby cousin's 1 yr old birthday! Went shopping for her gift. OMG. I swear baby clothings are uber cute. I had such joy browsing those those tiny clothings. And i picked up 5 cute little tops + jacket + skirts for her. :DI love you, hanxi! <3>
Ive been thinkin bout it last night (at bout 1+am, cos bascially i was watching 'the Magicians of Love'.) So back to point, ive been reflecting.And to my horror, i realised that almost all the close friends i held to my heart are actually disappearing one by one. Really, and all along ive been acting and pretending, and convincing everyone including myself that yes! I still have close friends, who bother caring and listening. Maybe they arent in the same school, so what? They are my true friends, and we'll remain this way.But no no no. I realised, its not true anymore. When was the last time i have a heart-to-heart talk to anyone? ):
Everything seems to change with time. Yes, that i cannnot control. But why is it that some things, things i hope that it'll just freaking hell stay the way they are, just change so cruelly with time? ):I want back those friends. Friends whom i can alway call/msg anytime and everything. So i dont have to stare blankly at my phone. Friends whom i know will always be there, so i dont have to keep everything to myself, and even do smth which i regret. Friends who will make me realise the meaning to life, other than jsut the end of it.
Yeah. So i started digging out my diaries, and started reading thru my msges in my phone.The upsetness just overwhlemed me, really. I started to realise the great contrast in my life, within just yr 2006 and 2007 alone.Is it always true that, friends come and go? Friends are just another passerby in our lives? Friends just leave footprints, on the sand, and when the waves come, poof. They'll be gone? I dont want things to be like this, really.For those who actually know me well, no, i dont mean those whom think you know me, but you freaking hell dont. For those who truly know me, you will know thta i dislike changes. ): I like routines, with that i mean routines which i enjoy, and like. Yeah, for things which i like and enjoy going, i dont mind doing them all over again. But i dislike changes so very much.
So anyways, im quite sick and tired of my life at this present moment. Really.Nothing much exciting, nothing much interesting, and nothing much fun.Everything's turning into something superficial and fake. I hate to admit this, but i cant deny it. Yeah, i feel as though im turning into someone superficial too.I can no longer write naked emotions on my face anymore. And it's just so hard to actually open up my heart, and share some true feelings with certain friends.Maybe its because of past experiences. Having friends whom you tell everything to, yet after awhile, turn into someone you can hardly recognise. How sad. Seeing that friend in school, like he's no longer your close friends (or even 'consultant', whom he claimed that you are). Walking past that friend, without any playful punch, or irritating whacks. Sometimes, not even a 'hey' or 'hi'. =l It makes my heart feel quite empty sometimes. Mm, confusing confusing.Why must things change with time?
Nothing to look forward to anymore.For the past few months, if you know me well enough. You'll notice that, there's someone/something that i look forward to. To care for, and to worry bout.But right now, nopes. The someone/something is gone, not physically of course, but emotionally.):
I wanna be back myself, the wenfang i used to be afew months/a yr before.Give me some time. (: And for those who know me before, give me a hand?So maybe, the laughter and simpy joy i used to have, will come back to me.
so much things saidbut do you actually understand;
&maybe things will be fine after awhile.
Saturday, October 20, 2007;
♥ 10/20/2007 07:05:00 AM
Im a true pioneerCrossing every new frontierWith conviction i take every turnThis passion i will holdSo that everyone may knowI believe while i live, i learn>>
Im a fairsian in my heart, a pioneer in my mind, but a jj-cian on the appearance.
School ended at one freaking pm for my class today. (: What joy.It's O N E pm! In jc, you sledom get to be out of class, until maybe 2plus. Oh yeah, sure! If you have any lunch breaks, then maybe you're out of class, but not exactly out of class.Mm, if you dont get what i mean, congrats. (: Youre normal, cos i dont exactly get it as well.
Stayed back with huiyee aaron and bryan. Had B&Js! :D How sinful! ):And then huiyee and i were observing. How interesting it is to note that jjfranticscians are dominating the whole campus. ):Okay, im not exactly anti-JJ. Alright, maybe just a little. All in all, im just not pro-JJ.The environment, the people, and the teachers/principals. Seriously, the things that even make me bother dragging my weary feet to school are the few im-not-sure-if-they-are-true-but-i-just-seriously-enjoy-their-company friends, those fairsians, my classmates (maybe) and mm, i dunno alr. ):Yes FYI. Fairfield, youre still missed, dearlyIts hard to just talk to someone in school/class. Cos bascially, you arent exactly close to anyone. Or maybe, superficially close. Like, yes. You can chitchat and hang around tgt, but you dont seem to find someone appropriate to actually TALK to. Like really, talk.It'll seems uber weird, if you just happen to grab someone and say hey, let me tell your my problems. Weird huh. Afterall, it doesnt seems like they will care either! No one bother asking, and no one bother showing that they truly or fakely care. And yeah. ):
Okay, i want to catch a movie quite badly. ): Although i wanna save money at the same time.I want to hang around with friendsoutside. Although i still wanna save money at the same time.I want to chat with friends soon.Mm, i wanna chill out with afew friends, just slack at someone's hse, watching dvd after dvd, and have snacks, and talkin and talkin. :D
Haha, it seems as though monday is gonna be a PW DAY for s07. (:
Westlife's 'Love Crime'I didn't know what to say I tried to look the other way When I saw you there with himher Acting like I don't care But you can read from how I stare That I'm hurting deep inside But even though you look so good tonight I'll be fine
But I know that for you To be here without me by your side It's a love crime Why you act so surprised I can tell from the guilt in your eyes It's a love crime to me
Love has never been good to me Maybe it's just my destiny To live my life alone Who was I trying to fool Thinking our love would break the rule Still I'm standing on my own And even though you look so good tonight I'll be fine
But I know that for you To be here without me by your side It's a love crime Why you act so surprised I can tell from the guilt in your eyes It's a love crime to me
Here I am not knowing Tell me what to do But I know that for you To be here without me by your side It's a love crime Why you act so surprised I can tell from the guilt in your eyes It's a love crime to me
I skipped my dinner, and now. Im having terrible + horrible gastric pain. :'(
&maybe things will be fine after awhile.
Friday, October 19, 2007;
♥ 10/19/2007 05:30:00 AM
Did you everLose yourself to get what you wantDid you everGet on a ride and wanna get offDid you everPush away the ones you should've held close>>
Im sleepy. Really really sleepy. ):School's draggy yet short today. We only had lessons til chinese class, which is around 1pm. Then the first group went for their op presentation, my group was the sit-in grroup. After the first group presented, our butts kind of decided to linger around for awhile more. Therefore, we ponmissed out the rest of the lesson for the rest of the day. :DBUT RIGHT, my group only started presenting at 4plus. =l And we stayed back for bryan's group presentation. Haha! I kind of enjoy presenting. (: Yknow, the feeling of standing in front of a crowd small group of friends, and just presenting or rattle something. Reminds me of myself standing in front of the unit, and talkin some discipline-admin matters or just having discipline talk/scolding. :D Haha, miss those times! Workin hand in hand with my dearest exco/ncos, going thru every programme making sure that everything's alright, keeping track of time to make sure that we're on time for the next event, runing around the school during camps to make sure everything's fine, wearing the tag thats reads 'discipline ic/day officer' and having so much responsibilities lie on your shoulder. (:Was having a short talk bout uniform groups with bryan chuang on wed, after school. Interesting talk. (: So anyways, something in random. ZHEWEN IS SO FREAKING CUTE :D He brought along this ancient pointer, and used it during his presentation. Haha! ky huixin huiyee and i were trying hard not to laugh out loud. And benja's presentation's so interesting and comical and fun! :D Hahaha, ky and i tried so so so hard to control our laughter. :DDude, ive such interesting classmates.They are the ones who make leaving the class so hard.. =l
My daddy just made me a cup of lemon + honey. Tastes quite weird. =l The lemon-ice tastes kind of bitter, and the organic honey tastes funny. Yeah, my daddy went kind of mad over organic stuff recently. Organic vinegar, organic fruit juice, organic vegetable, organic blahblahs.Okay, i should be grateful. Just dont try that 'celerey + tomato + orange + ice' fruit juice again. Really. I'd rather go jump, i swear.
Ive gotta finish my bio tut and chem tut. ):But im really sleepy! I have the urge to just skip school tmr. (:
How many of you out there wish you have what it takes to control your emotions?If you wish so, BREATHE.See! Everyone says yes.Well well, how i wish all of us could do so too!Then we wont have to be bothered bout us feeling this way or that way, cos we know we can control them.Like after exams, and when the not-so-good results slips come back. You control your emotions and you wont feel sad.Like when someone praises you in ront of everyone else, you're elated yet doesnt want everyone to know it. You control your emotions and hence, jumps in your own heart.Like when you feel for this certain someone, but jolly well knows that youe not allowed to. You control your emotions. Put an immediate halt to this rebellious feelings of yours, and pfft! Problem solved.HA! YOU JUST DREAM ON MAN. WHERE GOT SO EASY? ):
&maybe things will be fine after awhile.
Thursday, October 18, 2007;
♥ 10/18/2007 06:53:00 AM
Cos now even i could tellThat i confused my feelingsWith the truthWhen there was me and you
I went interact today! (:Okay, ysee. Ive been ponning this internal CCA for mine, fo as long as i could rmbr. Its not that i dont wanna help those needy people, or what. Its just that ive to go thru an emtional truama everytime i go there. ): Really.I rmbr the first time i went for the meeting. Ugh, i saw the residents there. They are so so helpless. ): Serious.I feel alot for people like them. Alot. Like the charity shows, whenever they showed the patients' videos. Like on streets, ysee those people selling tissue packets. My heart just seriously goes out to all of them. ):Okay, back to the interact issue. So yeah, i tried my best to skip all the sessions. I just dont wanna go thru tht emtional truama everytime i stepped into 'Red Cross Home for the Disabled'. :'( Or whats worse, compassion fatigue. When i no logner feel so much for them anymore. I dont want that to happen! Look, I WANT TO HELP THEM. But i dunno how to. Aiyah, i dunno la. But then(to contradict myself), i kind of enjoyed myself today. Cos i felt that i did smth. (: Watching them paint, and pushing them around for a little stroll. Seeing them smile makes your heart skip a beat. Really.
Anyways, on a lighter note. I'VE GOT HSM2 (and other movies) IN MY COM. ALL THANKS TO SARAH LIM! <33>And desmond called my MRS HIPPO online just now, whe i called hi mr giraffe. ): <And kevin was talking to me online right now, retardly.
Old man are cooler than us! says:
u noe wad
Old man are cooler than us! says:
i was so tired i reply you by commenting on my own profile
Old man are cooler than us! says:
haha
Old man are cooler than us! says:
i thought i was at yr profile
wf a n g_ www.-rhapsody.blogspot.com =(= says:
haha. DIAO LEH YOU
Old man are cooler than us! says:
sry lah
Old man are cooler than us! says:
sry just start, not use to going sch
Old man are cooler than us! says:
haha
wf a n g_ www.-rhapsody.blogspot.com =(= says:
hahaa. isit? isee
wf a n g_ www.-rhapsody.blogspot.com =(= says:
poor boy
Old man are cooler than us! says:
yes
Old man are cooler than us! says:
how abt some money for this poor boy
wf a n g_ www.-rhapsody.blogspot.com =(= says:
haha. go to the strait times fund
wf a n g_ www.-rhapsody.blogspot.com =(= says:
rmbr buskerton? we raised fund
wf a n g_ www.-rhapsody.blogspot.com =(= says:
go demand it bac
wf a n g_ www.-rhapsody.blogspot.com =(= says:
*back
Old man are cooler than us! says:
i have no talent
Old man are cooler than us! says:
i only can do retarded stuff
wf a n g_ www.-rhapsody.blogspot.com =(= says:
lol. being yourself cool!
Old man are cooler than us! says:
alright!
Old man are cooler than us! says:
for you, being yourself is retarded!
wf a n g_ www.-rhapsody.blogspot.com =(= says:
):
wf a n g_ www.-rhapsody.blogspot.com =(= says:
boo
Old man are cooler than us! says:
=)
Old man are cooler than us! says:
See! even yr display pic, you are the one holding the camera
Old man are cooler than us! says:
why?
wf a n g_ www.-rhapsody.blogspot.com =(= says:
cos im retarded!
wf a n g_ www.-rhapsody.blogspot.com =(= says:
YAY!
Old man are cooler than us! says:
yes so yr friends bully you!
wf a n g_ www.-rhapsody.blogspot.com =(= says:
)':
Old man are cooler than us! says:
if i nvr tell u this, u still think they are nice ppl
Old man are cooler than us! says:
lol
wf a n g_ www.-rhapsody.blogspot.com =(= says:
yeah. so sad!
wf a n g_ www.-rhapsody.blogspot.com =(= says:
boohoo
Old man are cooler than us! says:
i am the only trustable friend you have
Old man are cooler than us! says:
so believe everything i say!
Old man are cooler than us! says:
=)
wf a n g_ www.-rhapsody.blogspot.com =(= says:
okay!
wf a n g_ www.-rhapsody.blogspot.com =(= says:
what shold i do now?
Old man are cooler than us! says:
buy me food
Old man are cooler than us! says:
i am hungary
wf a n g_ www.-rhapsody.blogspot.com =(= says:
HAHAHA. HUNGARY IS A COUNTRY
wf a n g_ www.-rhapsody.blogspot.com =(= says:
OOPS
wf a n g_ www.-rhapsody.blogspot.com =(= says:
I LEFT THE CAPS ON
wf a n g_ www.-rhapsody.blogspot.com =(= says:
HEY, LOOKS COOL!
Old man are cooler than us! says:
no say its retarded!
wf a n g_ www.-rhapsody.blogspot.com =(= says:
yes!
wf a n g_ www.-rhapsody.blogspot.com =(= says:
RETARDED!
Old man are cooler than us! says:
RETARDED!
Im feeling sleepy alr, but i wanna finish watching HSM2!Tmr's there OP presentation (like finally. I seriously wanna get this over and done with), and im suppose to double/triple go thru the slides, but i wanna finish watching HSM2!Im feeling feverish, but i wanna finish watching HSM2!(I dunno what happen but) My ankle injury is acting up again, but i wanna finish watching HSM2! (Eewk, this has absolutely no connection btw.)
But you get my point. (:
Sometimes, in life. Its not a matter of 'want' or 'dont want'. Its more of a choice of 'need' or 'dont need'.Like, i dont want to let it all slip away, but i need to do so. If not, i'll be stuck on this emtional rollarcoaster ride, without finding a solution to get off.=l
&maybe things will be fine after awhile.
Wednesday, October 17, 2007;
♥ 10/17/2007 05:24:00 AM
Say it isnt so, tell me youre not leavingSay you'll change your mind nowAnd im only dreaming>>
I went to school feeling feverish today. ): And then during gp, my right eye became swollen. ):Boohoo! I should have went home right! )':Anyways, we went beeping's hse on mon! :D Haha, we kind of complete the slides and scripts and went thru the presentation once on that day itself. Quite productive huh? :DWell oh well, huiyee aaron and benj dropped by. Haha, we watched Skeleton Key (okay, just the front part. =l) and huixin huiyee and i were screaming, and scaring the daylights out of ourselves. LOL.Mm, left her place at around 8plus, went Popular. Oh my G, i swear huixin's such an embarrassment (The funny way i meant)!She actually shouted out loud across the crowd, twice! The second time was the most horrid. Hahaha, ask ky. =pBut its quite fun! Its a pity we din stay for dinner. ):Well, actualy. I quite like my group leh! :D
I chatted with szemian just now! Shoots, i love her so very much. <33>
wf a n g_ www.-rhapsody.blogspot.com =(= says:
<3
TASZEMIAN says:
yoyoyo
TASZEMIAN says:
lol
TASZEMIAN says:
<333
wf a n g_ www.-rhapsody.blogspot.com =(= says:
eee, not fair
wf a n g_ www.-rhapsody.blogspot.com =(= says:
i want mine to be more <3333
TASZEMIAN says:
er?
TASZEMIAN says:
LOL
TASZEMIAN says:
u only give me 1 <3 lo
wf a n g_ www.-rhapsody.blogspot.com =(= says:
but i gave u 5 in total now
wf a n g_ www.-rhapsody.blogspot.com =(= says:
i win!
Mm, my friend said to blame myself for letting it slip away.Please, i'd say the otherwise. All i was trying to do, was just to preventing myself from getting too hurt, thats all. =lOkay, right. Maybe she's right. It's my fault.Is there no turning back? ):
that this is not goodbyethis is starting over;
&maybe things will be fine after awhile.
Sunday, October 14, 2007;
♥ 10/14/2007 10:23:00 PM
Now I'm sittin hereLike we used to doI think about my lifeAnd how now there's nothing I won't doJust for one more dayOne more day with you>>
I was planing to have a nice holiday on mon.Yknow, just my bro and i. Staying at home, watching dvds/movies/shows, eating snacks and everything. Having a long overdue-d sister-brother bonding time. But right, ive got PW tmr ): Boohoo.Okay, but im quite looking forward to going beeping's hse though. (: I love/hate my PW group. Really. I love it when we complete so much work within one day. I love it when we just discuss things happily, without much trouble. I love it when we (beeping ky huixin and i) can settle things so efficiently. I love it when we crack little jokes every now and then during the meetings to brighten up the mood. I love it when we go ky's hse, and huixin and beeping just start serving us drinks. (: Yeah, i love my group cos of that.But right! I hate my group too. ): For being quite indecisive. For being so retarded, and not being serious. For being so last min (Im serious, our first presentation's on tues. But we're only started work on mon). Yeah, thats why my hate my group. ):Mm, then again, ysee ar. The 'loves' > 'hates'.
So i love my group more than i hate it. (:Haha, i was being retarded anyways.
Its strange to see everything falls apart so soon.Its like, afew days/weeks/months ago, everything seems just fine.
And now, its as though the sky just tumbled down, and everything's in a mess. =lWhy dont you understand? Why dont you get it? ):Bummer.
i wish i had this 'eraser', that erases scars;
&maybe things will be fine after awhile.
;
♥ 10/14/2007 05:59:00 AM
I wanted you to love meI want to be there for youLike no one else beforeToo serious, too soon>>
Today was such a boring day. ): But i love itNo. Not that i love boring stuff, its just that i spent the whoel day today sleeping and watching tv.
Man, it feels so good! :D
Anyways, i love the weather right now. Cooling. (:I know i slept alot today alr, but i cant wait to dive into my cosy bed, slip under my warm blanket, listen to my mp3, and sleep like a pig. :D
The thoughts in my mind, the feelings that i have, the secrets that i hide. Well, i guess they will have to be kept, unspoken forever.Part of me wish to spill everything out, and tell you, so that you'll understand and know. The other part of me want things to remain this way, cos sometimes, just sitting aside, watching out and helping you, is enough. Really.=X
contradictions;
&maybe things will be fine after awhile.
Saturday, October 13, 2007;
♥ 10/13/2007 07:15:00 AM
Its the hardest thing i'll ever have to lie
To look you in the eyes, and tell you i dont love you
Its the hardest thing i'll ever have to do
To turn around and walk away pretending i dont love you>>
We had pc again today! I was looking forward to running outside school again, but sadly, we din. ): Instead, we ran 3 rounds around the track, and started doing exercises on the field.
I think i lost some fats during these two pc sessions. BUT YKNOW WHAT?
I just gained all of them back. ):
Went 'Cold Rock' at holland with manda sarah and pearlyn!
First, we laughed like some real retarded fools on the bus. Waved to this uncle in the nearby truck. And manda kicked me! ):
Next, we tried acting like hooligans, but making our collars stand or smth. =p
Then, we took centuries to decide on our icecream flavours and fillings, before stuffing ourselves with those delicious.
After that, we got quite sick of the icecream, and started cam-whoring. (:
Then, we finally decided to leave the place and we went to eat katong laksa! :D
After which, we went Cold Storage, for fun, laughter, peace, and joy!
Finally, finally. We separated and went home. (:
Pictures!
*
Cold Rock Ice Creamery. <3> I paid $8.50 for my mango sorbet icecream + strawberry fruit fillings! Rather expensive though. ): But it tasted quite superb. :D The three other girls got some 'chocolate-ty' icecream + fillings, and they got sick of their icecream before i do. =p
The four happy girls initially. (: We stood by the counter, waiting quite impatiently for our icecream to be mashed up with the fillings!
Me and sarah; at the beginning.
Me and sarah; at the end. Sarah's the survivor! At the end of the icecream, pearlyn manada and i were really stuffed and sick of the icecream, while sarha's still happily eating her melted icecream. =x EEWK.
Manda and pearlyn; at the beginning.
Manda and pearlyn; at the end.
Us; at the end. We were all supposed to act sick and stuffed. The black and white effect was supposed to add on to the effects and everything. But i guess, it failed, so did we! Haha.
Us again!
And again. Oh yeah, we're on our way to find the toilet. (: We're horrendously full and bloated from the laksa and everything. ):
Sarah's afraid of spiders! :D
Pearlyn's acting childish.
Manda's acting dao.
Retarded.
Ha, youve got to admit that this picture is quite cute! =p
Us! At Cold Storage.
We din exactly spend a long time tgt, but hey! It's kinda fun. (: Do this more often yeah?
Haha, just skip the large icecream. =p
Whees! I love spending quality time with friends. <3>
Im sorry for this invisible wall which im putting up between us. Maybe you din feel it, but yes, im making an effort in putting this up. And supporting it, so that it stays upright, firm, and stuck to the ground.
Y'see, i wouldnt put this up too, if i have a choice.
But to prevent myself from getting too deep, and too hurt, before i realise it. Ive gotta pick myself up. And put up this wall.
But sometimes, i swear. This wall's really restraining, suffocating, and its even killing me. ):
Still, no matter what. I'll try my best, to continue holding the wall up. =l
to turn around and walk away;
&maybe things will be fine after awhile.
Friday, October 12, 2007;
♥ 10/12/2007 05:09:00 AM
It’s hard to deal with the pain of losing you everywhere I goBut I’m doin’ itIt’s hard to force that smile when I see our old friends and I’m aloneStill HarderGetting up, getting dressed, livin’ with this regret>>
I went to school because of one simple reason: to get back my gp papers.Honestly, ive a good plan to just laze around in bed, and sleep til it's noon or smth.But no! I woke up, and pulled myself to school. Because my tutor said today we'll be getting back our GP papers.But right! She din come today. ): Eh, walao. I feel so damncheated! ):
Anyways, had pc today.We ran, oh yay! I hope it's running away tmr, and then, free time! Then we can play sports.Anyways, i still rmbr the very very first pc session in pj, we went to run along the canal! Ugh, that was a total killer, with loads of fun added into it. Really! (:
Oh yeah, i think guys who play water sports, and are tanned are really charming. (: Their height will be a bonus!But then, that doesnt means guys who play basketball arent attractive.And that hot, handsome hockey player back in pjc. (:
Mm, my feelings are somewhat still confused.Ive tried, honestly, i did. But im still feeling the hurt and sadness. ):Why? Why m i all back at square one, with a snap of your fingers? =l SIGH
unspoken;
&maybe things will be fine after awhile.
Wednesday, October 10, 2007;
♥ 10/10/2007 05:54:00 AM
What hurts the mostWas being so closeAnd having so much to sayAnd watching you walk away>>
It's really saddening. Really, to collect back all the scripts one by one, and seeing not how well done it is, but instead how badly you failed. )':Even my chinese disappoint me. ): My compo, stupid compo, stupid wrong words. And my paper 2, i had confidence in paper2, seriously. ): I thought it was easy yknow. =lAnd my chem. Pfft, i should have just give up right at the beginning. Seriously. Okay, i dunno. I was having this conversation with pamela, about how great life would be if we dont have to care bout anything and everything. No studies, no assignments, no need to fret over exams, relationships and everything else. Basically to just heck care everything, and live your own damnlife the way you want it to be.Yeah, maybe that way life would be great. Just maybe. =X
Ive been skipping dinner for the third time tonight. Lately, whenever im hungry, i just dont seem to have the appetite. ): BooIn fact, everytime after i bathed. I'll just lock myself in the room, and blast the music, and stone. =XThe only time i 'communicate' with people, is when i come online, and chat with my friends, or when i text msg my friends.
Ive been quite confused, lately.Its like me being unable to differentiate between true and fake, white and black, and good and bad. ):I feel as if im being forced to swallow things down, and being forced to plastered a smile onto my face. ): This stinks, really.
Anyways, i just need to express thanks to the following loves. For being there, and for those encouragements. <3>Szemian (for still being that dear i hold so close to my heart. Bestest friends always! <33>)Fairsians, esp joaquina bryan zhihao (Joa and bryan; for your encouraging text msges. Zhihao; for your breezer! =p)Classmates, esp beeping huili huiyee aaron desmond benj bryan kokyao (Beeping; for always sticking by me no matter what (: huili huiyee; for your crazy and lovely company. :D the guys; i dunno. Just your presence in class makes day quite fine. )07S07 (Really, as much as i mentioned before, our class stinks cos we arent enthu enough, as in, go out tgt after promos. But really, its hard to find a class which really cares. (: And the thought of '07S07' in yr 08, kind of puts me in the studying mode. (: Thank you, for the friendships. )
you dont get ittotally;
&maybe things will be fine after awhile.
Tuesday, October 09, 2007;
♥ 10/09/2007 06:19:00 AM
I thought you were my fairytale
A dream when im not sleeping
A wish upon the star
Thats coming true>>
I just woke up, and i din had my dinner. So imagine, a very sleepy, drowsy and stomach-feeling-empty-yetno-appetite-to-eat person blogging. Not a very good post ahead! ): So, close the window right now, if you dont wanna continue reading.
Collected biology paper back today. Okay, i know i know. I had the 'confirm fail' mentality drilled into my mind already, but i just cant help but feel sad over it okay. ):
See the great contrast when im in sec sch and jc. In sec school, biology always seems to be my so-called 'best' subject, not tt i did well in it literally, but just tt i can score in it btr than phy and chem. Plus the fact tt, i used to think of bio tb as a very interesting storybook! Really, you read bout how the impulses get transported from this neurone to the other, how your food travels around in your body like they are on boats rowing down your bloodstreams, and everything else. So cute! :D
But now, wa. I dread it everytime we have bio lectures/tutorials. I dread it everytime i readflip thru my bio notes. And i totally dread it everytime we have to cram all the millions billions bits of information into our teeny, puny brains for minor/majoy papers. Yes i so do. ):
Where's my passion for bio? ):
Okay okay, get back to track.
Yeah, i failed my biology paper, and i failed overall. ): Fine, i already know tt this is the outcome even before i sit for the paper, but im still disappointed. ):
Esp in bio lab today, i feel so terribly Fscrewed up. I kept thinkin bout what to do if i retain, poly or jc? I dunno! ):
Okay, the good point is, i have classmates who cares. (: Both benj and des said smth thats really touching, and really 'stressful'. They said no, no one will retain from 07S07. Everone will promote together.
Like what huili said, now, it seems as though retainin isnt just bout being sorry to yourself, and family. But it seems like the whole class's business already. And it's stressful because, i dunno. ):
So i was thinkin and thinkin, and i went toilet. (You will go diao, blog this detail for what) Mm, and i teared abit. =X This is so embarrassing, but i wanted to blog this cos i haven exactly teared/cried in school campus for some time alr.
Then i started to think bout this question. When's the last time you cry/tear/sob? Its not very long ago since i last tear. But it's been awhile since i last cryhard. Mm, i just dont have the privacy and time to do so anymore i think. ): And sometimes, i wanna act strong, and sollow all the tears down. In fact, thats what i always do. Sollowing the tears, and burying everything inside of me, with the mentality that no one cares and no one understands. Trying hard to hide my true, naked feelings inside this turtle shell, so that no one will ever discover it. Puttin on those stupid fake masks everytime im out with my friends. Hey, i could act pretty well i feel. Well, the skill just accumulate over the years, and yeah. So i guess thats why im pretty good at it now.
But then again. Who was i trying to kid, right? You?
Perhaps, just myself. =X
Had chinese 'test' after school. Went jec with classmates (beeping huiyee huili aaron and bryan).
We had a crazy time when we're eating. We just laughed and laughed, like nobody's freaking business. (Which indeed, its true)
And then, we took neo prints, and then we went home.
Okay, seems short, but i did have my fair share of fun time. (:
Hey guys, thank you, you. (: Yall made me forget bout my sadness and sorrow temporarily, for a short while. :D
Huili, yourtruly, beeping, huiyee. <3> Yeah, i think we took really long in the toilet today. =p
Huiyee looks terrible gu-niang in this pic i feel. (:
Eh! This picture is really nice la! Stupid aaron. ):
Anyways, i just wanna say that i feel uncomfortable, with the uncessary 'attention' that my friends are showing me. Yes, they are concern, but sometimes. I'll feel much btr, if i were treated like the rest. Really.
somehow i just wish you know whats going on;
&maybe things will be fine after awhile.
Monday, October 08, 2007;
♥ 10/08/2007 02:40:00 AM
Its like you were floatingWhile i was fallingAnd i didnnt mind>>
I just blogged, not here though.Anyways, i was just thinking about my true friends, and the fact that im drifting apart from them. Yeah, maybe what my friend said was right. It's really hard to maintain old friendships, when youre actually forging new ones at hand. Guess he's right, but im trying hard to not let it come true, really. But somehow, trying hard isnt enough, if youre not trying hard. =lWell, on a lighter note, I'll be meetin up with my dearest bestest bestie this coming tues. (:And afew of us will be dropping by pjc, and maybe i'll catch a glimpse of my eyecandy! <3> And of cos, to meet up and catch up with my fellow s25-sians. Loads of misses!
Anyways, i wasnt in the mood to step out of the house today. I wanted to sleep til really late, and hide myself in the blanklet, or smth. I just wanna find some time, solely just for myself. So i can think and ponder bout problems and questions. But my good ol' mum, gotta dragged me out of bed, and dragged me out of hse. So i had my earplugs on, and i blasted the music into my ears the whole time, til we get our butts home. =l
Mm, ive been asked thrice, over the last week. Whether anot do i still like/miss him. Well, ive been running away and away from that question, everytime someone comes up to me and ask me that. Mm, i just had a really long phonechat with one of my close friends, and we began on this topic. This time, strangely, i din run away. And after the hour long phone chat, i began to find the answer.Alrights, let's just put this way. I still miss him, and like him, as a friend. I still miss the fact that we hang around in school as a group, and laughin so retardedly tgt as a clique. I still miss the fact that we'll often get tgt as a group, and just chill around. I still miss the very fact that we used to be such close friends, and everything else. Yups, i no longer habour hopes of us getting back tgt anymore. (: So, im enlightened, i guess. (: I just wish that one day, someday, when we all meet up as a group. We'll be joking and laughin and chitchatting, lke we are some long lost pals.
And please, for those silly friends who thought my emo posts were all cause by him. Youre terribly horribly wrong. (:Ha, i din even realised tt some of yall thought this way, til my friend told me over the phone.TSK.
Okay, right now. I just seriously cant wait to meet up with szemian (and jelin?) on tues. And meet up with my beloved s25-ians (and hopefully, eyecandy!) on wed. :DI love old friends, seriously. Not because the new-er friends arent good. But because, i dunno. Old friends always seems to understand better, and not take our friendships for granted.Applies to me as well. Looking back, i regretted not treasuring all the friendships i have at hand and all. So i guess thats the main reason, why old friendships always seems more valuable. (:Because 'people tend to cherish things, after that are gone'.I so totally agree.
Alrights, so btw. Im still keeping to what ive said. (:Keep the line, draw the distance...
Yknow my neighbour asked me go play basketball with him leh! Hahaha, but i din, so my bro accompanied him. This made me rmbr the past, my dearest childhood. (: When kh mich and i would stay at our grandparents hse, and make a din. Hehe. And we'll always go down to the basketball court, for a game of basketball. Yes, FYI. I do play bbball when i was in pri school okay! Ha, and i always bring my bbball to school. =p How cute! For now, i'd rather play other sports, like tennis! :DAnyways, i rmbr how my girlfriends and i would comment that guys who play basketball are always more charming and attractive then guys who play soccer. Haha, and im always proud to add in that my 'XIAO ZHU' ('destined guy' xp) plays the basketball, and is the captain of the team! :D Haha, stinks. Im missing fairfield! =lBummer, im wanted to go for a jog like, right now. But it looks like its gonna rain. ): Furthermore, im stuck at watching 'Magicians of Love'. xpWell, oh well. I'll go climb the stairs later! (:
Some random thoughts:a. Im missing fairfield, not abit, but terribly.b. I need exercise! ):c. I need shopping!d. I need to spend some quality time with my dearest friends.e. I finished the Lychee Martini icecream. ):
cant believe that i could be so blind;
&maybe things will be fine after awhile.
